Conceptual DEMOS

by Ryan Lawson

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DEMOS for an eventual new album


released October 29, 2014

Ryan Lawson guitar and vocals



all rights reserved


Ryan Lawson Choctaw, Oklahoma

Oklahoma born.

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Track Name: A Mountain
If you see me trying
then there's nothing more that you can do
If you catch me trying
then I'll try my hardest to blame you

It's the same damn thing
that we've all heard before
That trite and true
that you want to ignore
It gets caught up in the throat
and makes the heart a little sore
How about instead of choke
you just try opening the door

When I want to change
I rearrange the living room
Tear the cobwebs from the ceiling
with an old, rotten broom
that I bought when I was younger
and I moved out on my own
in an efficiency apartment that I called my home

With the banks of snow in winter
on the old windowsills
painted shut and made of splinters
all the cold drafts I'd feel
And, the lovers, I remember
what we had we thought was real
Love is not for the beginner
it's a mountain not a hill

It's the challenge we all face
when we're forced to recollect
on how we hurt each other
just to save our own necks
to preserve a way of living
that we say we wanted
walls so weak that they cry
when they are confronted

But, I still remember
where I found my soul
In a tall field full of stickers
I thought it was gold
But, it wasn't, I was better
and full of stories untold
Hell, I thought I'd
died for forever
until I found out
that I could grow
Track Name: Fred
I got a gun, I got a gun
inherited from my Uncle
he was smart his name was Fred
and, his sweet wife, my Aunt Wandra
gave it to my father
said, "Ryan will like this"

And, I did, I went behind the house
shot it in the field, a 30-30 round
smacked into the hill
I saw the flying dirt
It kicked hard, but it did not hurt

My gun, my gun
used to be my Papa's
it was like his ghost in my grip
He taught my dad and his brothers
how to pull the lever
but he died when I was six

My gun is a Winchester
with a dark wood stock
The safety's on when the hammer
is half cocked.
Track Name: The One You Started
I focus on the past too much
and revel in my sin
I pace around this old damn house
with the projects I began
But, tossed aside as they collapsed
and I wanted to be shut in
Until I was haunted by their ghosts
and brought back in again

When they whisper that you're alone
that's okay because you're stoned
The things you part with, the one you started,
the one you left has gone away

I figured how to succeed
just hang to the rails of life
If you're determined to burn down in flames
its hard to not think twice
The loved ones you have crossed
the paths you've walked and the beds you've made
All the times when you lit out
and you probably should have stayed
Track Name: The Tree
You got the last word
It's what you wanted
Because, I'm too old and dim
to know not when
to offer the good I come with
And, you've seen to
put it all on me
Kind of shines a light on
how effectively
you delve out all your misery

And, I was so upset
I went to walking in the snow
The sky was concrete gray, and
my fingers and toes were cold
But, I couldn't get lost
I had seen it all before
The only difference now was
getting it out seemed
like a fucking chore

I'll see you babe
just not tonight
when I run out of my excuses
I'll drink your whiskey like it's mine

I put a lot of effort
in the things that I believe
When I made you cry
I could have died
I should have offered you my sleeve
But, I didn't do that
It'd take too much out of me
I might be weak like a blade of grass
but I'm stubborn as a tree

And, I remember
I remember being young
I remember guarding my heart
with the sharp edge of my tongue
With all those words, now
All of those things, now
All of those prayers I tucked inside
the folded part of me now
Track Name: The Fire Song
You want to build a fire
then you're going to need some wood
an empty case of busch beer
may work good
keep that tinder bundle dry and off of the ground
made of the wood fibers and all the other shit you found

Hey, buddy, do you think you could lend a spark
this fire building has gotten to be an art
it's a calm ritual that I seem to love a lot
it is a get away to stare into when I am feeling shot

You want to build a fire
then you're going to need a hole
something deep and wide enough
for the bed of coals
throw on all the boughs
and the heavy trucks
let the smoke chase you around
breathe it in your lungs

You want to build a fire
then you have to treat it right
and tend to all its needs
throughout the night
when the sun comes up
and you are cold
just throw another piece of wood
down on the coals
Track Name: Spider Song
I think the spider outside of my window
up and died last night
up and died last night

The fogged rolled in soon as the wind blow
brought the frost that bites
the frost that bites

She used to catch little things when they flew by
she wrapped them up, they died
wrap them up and they die

Waving with beauty in the moonlight
she died so naturally
I thought it was a crime

And, if you think about all the time that we spent
doing the dishes and trying to pay the rent
the sun is gone now,
and I wonder where it went
did it go away?

Now, the hedges all shiver in the cold air
winter stripped them bare
so, what are they to bare?

Your webbing still hangs on the sidewall
but you're no longer there
oh, you fell from there